Living

It's 2 weeks after the change. &I quite like the way it is now. Flexible timings, own time, own target. FYP's pretty good other than the fact that it's graded. Yes, I fall into the category of emphasizing too much on my grades. Every semester, I just mug and mug. Sometimes I don't really understand what I'm studying, I just memorize because I need to maintain the grades that I've had so much that I feel down if I fail. I pressure myself every semester, hard, sometimes it takes a toll on my health. And after all that, I wonder whether it's all worth it. My boyfriend says I'm always able to convince myself that grades actually aren't that important But after a while, I go back to where I was and the whole cycle just repeats itself.

How is it possible to say that there's much more outside than just your grades when your first job, starting pay all depends on this certificate with the class. It's so important to be practical. What's dreams and passion if you've got no money? But then again, what's life if you've got no dreams and passion?

"Passion. Meaning. Those who don't have passion for, and/or don't find meaning in whatever they're doing now, be it your job or education, don't waste your time. Look into yourself, and ask yourself these questions: "Why am I doing what I am doing now? What do I really want in life? What makes my life fulfilling? What do I find meaning in doing?" Majority will not be able to answer these questions. People without self-awareness, direction and aspirations are merely surviving, not living." -- my friend, Nicholas

And now do I know, I'm only surviving, not living.